I don't know if this is going to be cool or pathetic...but I guess in any case it will turn out to be worse.
This is a quote from the inmortal famous poet and composer who I will not tell his name....but he to whom this piece of a song is familiar will be as cool or as pathetic as I am...
...When I find out all the reasons
Maybe I'll find another way
Find another day
With all the changing seasons of my life
Maybe I'll get it right next time
And now that you've been broken down
Got your head out of the clouds
You're back down on the ground
And you don't talk so loud
And you don't walk so proud
Any more, and what for...
Monday, 30 April 2007
Friday, 27 April 2007
Nothing or emptiness?
Exams period.
I have two choices (assuming that at the end of the day we can choose):
Either I don't study hard, and I assume that my methaphysical pleasure or acquitance for physics it just that, methaphysical, and therefore, unacceptable, or atleast unbearable for my high standards of sincerity and engagement. Either I give everything I have, inspired by the practical man ideal, convinced that physics doenst belong to an institution, to a man, or to a genius, but to whoever wants to take it on, even if driven by the most suspicious reasons.
If I choose the first option I anticipate fear, I antecipate the nothing, loneliness, and the irony of that same methaphysical depression. If I choose the second option, after everything is completed I will get drunk, I will shout out loud -'sucess!', but in the next day, when I wake up, the very same feeling will be ruling my spirit - empitness. Maybe, I will be able to sadly remember that the night before, while sleeping, I dreamed about having something in my hands, something described as being none trivial, the dream where there are indeed local solutions for fullfilment, for doing the fearless journey across absurdity, riding the violent horses, with the 'handmade god - creativity' as a sword in my hand, maybe that. But the cup is always half fulled, next day I will be back to the ground zero, and emptiness will return, looking the same as I found her for the first time as a child.
So, I am left with two options, nothing or emptiness. The straightforward solution to this one, is to say-'I take the second option, because we can always hope to fill emptiness with something and I want to continue my journey, and we cant do the same with nothing.'
But I dont know any straightforward solution. I dont choose the first, neither the second, I dont choose, I live one of them. By exclusion of parts, my human self-defection tends to live the second option only because the cycle of emptiness closes the circle only after you have worked hard to make a fool out of yourself.
We proudly wait for death as for anything else!
I have two choices (assuming that at the end of the day we can choose):
Either I don't study hard, and I assume that my methaphysical pleasure or acquitance for physics it just that, methaphysical, and therefore, unacceptable, or atleast unbearable for my high standards of sincerity and engagement. Either I give everything I have, inspired by the practical man ideal, convinced that physics doenst belong to an institution, to a man, or to a genius, but to whoever wants to take it on, even if driven by the most suspicious reasons.
If I choose the first option I anticipate fear, I antecipate the nothing, loneliness, and the irony of that same methaphysical depression. If I choose the second option, after everything is completed I will get drunk, I will shout out loud -'sucess!', but in the next day, when I wake up, the very same feeling will be ruling my spirit - empitness. Maybe, I will be able to sadly remember that the night before, while sleeping, I dreamed about having something in my hands, something described as being none trivial, the dream where there are indeed local solutions for fullfilment, for doing the fearless journey across absurdity, riding the violent horses, with the 'handmade god - creativity' as a sword in my hand, maybe that. But the cup is always half fulled, next day I will be back to the ground zero, and emptiness will return, looking the same as I found her for the first time as a child.
So, I am left with two options, nothing or emptiness. The straightforward solution to this one, is to say-'I take the second option, because we can always hope to fill emptiness with something and I want to continue my journey, and we cant do the same with nothing.'
But I dont know any straightforward solution. I dont choose the first, neither the second, I dont choose, I live one of them. By exclusion of parts, my human self-defection tends to live the second option only because the cycle of emptiness closes the circle only after you have worked hard to make a fool out of yourself.
We proudly wait for death as for anything else!
Friday, 20 April 2007
6:57 ....no more to say
Keep working at 6:57....null progress. Is it good enough??
/
/
/
I am thinking about sex.
/
/
/
I am thinking about sex.
Sunday, 15 April 2007
Why you need to write here
Drop a line whenever you feel like.
We know that even if you don't do it, you are depressed enough to get to this cheap blog and read what other screwed Physicists with more courage, hence more pathetic, than you have to say.
Feel how is it when you think about how pointless is to be sit on top of knowledge and crack the deep mysteries of nature over a pint because there is no other way...
Have a nice time, for what it matters...(???)
We know that even if you don't do it, you are depressed enough to get to this cheap blog and read what other screwed Physicists with more courage, hence more pathetic, than you have to say.
Feel how is it when you think about how pointless is to be sit on top of knowledge and crack the deep mysteries of nature over a pint because there is no other way...
Have a nice time, for what it matters...(???)
born ...BSc MSc PhD ....dead
The really good stuff is in the middle of the above cycle....I wake up at after 1 o'clock pm, don't worry about anything, don't have any money, keep travelling and eating for free....and yet still wondering why I am writting these lines ....well...I guess because I'm a Looser Physicist.
Deep inmersed permanently in a subtle mixture of cafeine, nicotine and alcohol, I can see my life going exactly to where it belongs, nowhere. I said this and I am happy. If you can say the same, or something worse, and you are not happy, then you are not even a loser...you are just fucked up big time.
Cheers Folks...Keep fuckin up ur lifes, enjoy!
Deep inmersed permanently in a subtle mixture of cafeine, nicotine and alcohol, I can see my life going exactly to where it belongs, nowhere. I said this and I am happy. If you can say the same, or something worse, and you are not happy, then you are not even a loser...you are just fucked up big time.
Cheers Folks...Keep fuckin up ur lifes, enjoy!
Saturday, 14 April 2007
Once before time...
Are you wasted?
Do you feel totally useless and not important at all?
Do you think your life sucks?
Are you studying in a university, for more than 5 years, but you still try to find why?
Do you think that string theory is a fashion theory?
Does the word manifold means something to you, but you know how to use it?
Do you wank a lot?
Do you think that the world looks better when you are drunk?
Do you think that you are the only one who know a lot about...nothing special?
Do you think that you are someone special, but no one gives a damn about you?
DO YOU STILL BELIEVE THAT FUTURE WILL BE MUCH BETTER THAN THE PRESENT???
Do you think your life sucks?
Are you studying in a university, for more than 5 years, but you still try to find why?
Do you think that string theory is a fashion theory?
Does the word manifold means something to you, but you know how to use it?
Do you wank a lot?
Do you think that the world looks better when you are drunk?
Do you think that you are the only one who know a lot about...nothing special?
Do you think that you are someone special, but no one gives a damn about you?
DO YOU STILL BELIEVE THAT FUTURE WILL BE MUCH BETTER THAN THE PRESENT???
...well....sorry but we don't care at all.... We just try to create a blog for Loser Physicists...so comments....welcome!
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